Religious confusion

I've always been confused about two things: what I wanted to be when I grew up, and religion. The former confusion I blame on my impulsive nature and my need to find sheer excitement in everything that I do. The latter I blame on society. I majored in psychology where Freud's musings formed the basis of much of the syllabus. Freud does not believe in religion. I studied Charles Darwin. I thought I believed in evolution. I was raised to believe what I wanted to believe, while half my family are epically Christian, and the other half are dead-set, blasphemous atheists. I attended a school where religion wasn't ever really mentioned. Perhaps, everyone will say to this that I should think and decide for myself, but the information that I try to read and the people that I try to speak to seem to have their own agendas. Growing up in this indifferent environment has all but encouraged me to pursue the elusive figuring out of this decision

I have always been more of an observer of people than a reader of words (that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it). I love to watch other people and their behaviour and pick out the psychology behind their behaviour. I have religious and non-religious family members, and I have watched how this particular variable has impacted on their lives, their relationships in particular. My religious aunt and uncle are the loveliest people I have ever met. They never have a bad word to say about anyone; my aunt has the kindest heart, and is supportive of everyone around her. She’s is in my top three favourite people in the world. But, they have little money and they've always seemed to struggle to make ends meet. Of course, the rest of my family focuses on the lack of money and question (sometimes aggressively) my Christian aunt and uncle’s choice of lifestyle.

I have an aunt and uncle on the same side of the family that are atheists. They recently had a falling out with the rest of the family because of their “unsavoury” behaviour. They have very little family left that supports them. Their children swear and tell rude jokes. They have money and fancy cars.

I guess each of these families of four has adopted different ideals into their lives. Each family unit is built on different values. The Christian values seem to provide a healthier foundation than values that are associated with anti-religious behaviour. When I look at these people, it seems easy to formulate a decision. But there are religious people who don't have good values and non-religious people that do. Are good, moral atheists going to heaven? Or if you don’t believe, is there no place for you?

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